Realty bites.

I think I got a little too cocky. I got too comfortable with the thought of exemption from the finals that I let things slipped. That was stupid of me. Stupid for being too cocky and stupid for not doing the math. So now, I have to deal with the disappointment that I still have a long way to go to get the grade that I want for Physiology or for any of my subjects for that matter.

Gee.. when reality bites, it bites hard.

On a different note, I think I should do what my classmate says she'll do. Everyday she would write good things that happened to her. I've just realized that I've been taking too much time thinking about the negatives that I didn't notice the positives in my life. For example, I passed my neuroanatomy practical exam. Sure, I have another one coming up and I would be taking the finals. but nonetheless, it's the freaking practicals and I passed it! I guess no matter how hard medicine is, it's always going to be a matter of perspective. After all, even if reality bites you or slaps you, you can always fight back. Reality can wake us but we still make our own fates.

Good things for today: I was able to jog without my heart or lungs wanting to give up on me. Ate ice cream with some of my closest friends. Understood some concepts of neuroanatomy.

Last January we started with our Neuroanatomy module and may I say, we are very complicated beings. Simple movements already go through a complicated tract. Even the feeling of cold or heat is complicated. With all this complexity, I find myself asking, what the heck did I get myself into? Don’t get me wrong. I love medicine. I love the field of healthcare, I always will. But right now(with a great fear of mistake and failure), I ask myself, what did I get myself into?



Sometimes I wish that in med school they would only teach you things regarding your specialty of choice and squeeze in a few basics like CPR and first aid. Though I’m not sure if that would make us competent or stupid doctors in the future. All I know is that it’s less hassle. (sighs) Less hassle. Hah. I don’t think doctors know that kind of life. Once you enter med school, you made the choice to make your life more complicated than it already is. Pretty soon, we get adjusted and complicated becomes normal. We’re just like adrenaline junkies, except we don’t jump off buildings or go sky diving. We hold scalpels, work through thirty six hours of duty and plaster smiles on our faces. The practice is our adrenaline. Medicine junkies.. that’s what we are.. or at least what I’m hoping to be in the future. For now, I just have to pass all my subjects.

(Starts reading book again)